Soften the Self-Blame: A Gentle Morning Meditation

0:00Hi, I'm Steven Webb, and welcome to a gentle morning meditation for that voice inside that says, "It was

0:08your fault."

0:10And if you woke up this morning replaying something you said or did, or you tend to go to bed doing that,

0:16this is for you.

0:19You don't need to do anything with your body or your breath.

0:23Just become aware So allow your body to sit comfortably Finally, You can gently close your eyes And just

0:37become aware of your breath.

0:40Your body knows how to breathe And also your body knows how to relax the, we just allow We just allow

0:55these things to happen And while you're just settling in, I just want to say a few things I'll talk about

1:14self-blame.

1:16I just mean that voice inside that points to you and says that it was your fault, or you should not have

1:24done that, or you could have done something better, or with hindsight you could have done it a different

1:30way.

1:31All these different ways in which we just replay these situations and we think that we could have done

1:38it better So as you continue to invite your body to relax Your head and your forehead, your jaw and shoulders

1:54arms and fingers and your belly, even your legs and toes And even your eyebrows and every part of your

2:11body just allow it to relax in this moment Breathe in calm, breathe out breathe out, and let the moment

2:28be what it is Allow your breath to be what it is You may notice your mind has gone a little quieter If

2:47you're anything like me, you wake up in the morning and your mind is already busy.

2:52And not so much with today, but with yesterday.

2:56That thing we said, that thing we didn't do, the mind plays it again and again, like it's hoping for some

3:07kind of different ending The words that came out wrong, the message, the moment you snapped, the thing

3:16you forgot And there's a voice standing over all of it saying, you knew better And the strange part is

3:26that the voice thinks it's helping.

3:29It believes that if it blames you first and blames you hardest, no one else can hurt you with it.

3:39No one else can use it.

3:42It's like a guard that shouts at you to keep you safe Terrible manners, but it's a good heart So this

3:58morning, we just don't fight the voice.

4:02We don't correct it.

4:05We don't argue.

4:06We just allow it to be what it is.

4:10Allow that voice to be there Notice it in the same way that we notice the rain on the window And we say

4:21quietly, "I hear you.

4:24Thank you for trying to keep me safe And now let's just find where the blame sits in the body Most of

4:44the time for me, it just lands in the chest or low in the belly And rest your attention there just generally

4:53for a moment And each time you breathe out, just allow that place to soften a little Nothing to fix Just

5:22softer than it was And the Buddha said something really lovely about this.

5:32He said you could search the whole world for someone who deserves your kindness more than you And you

5:41would not find them nowhere, not one person You made a mistake It may not have even been a mistake, but

5:59someone may think you did, and that's repeating in your head And that's not the same as being a mistake.

6:10Blame keeps looking backwards.

6:13Kindness looks at you and says, kindness is here with you this morning Now we're going to do three affirmations.

6:31Just slowly.

6:33May I be kind to myself today.

6:38May I put down what I cannot change.

6:43May I know I am enough.

6:46Even on the days I get it wrong May I be kind to myself today May I put down what I cannot change May

7:05I know I am enough even on the days I get it wrong The voice of blame is one of hundreds inside of you.

7:24So is the voice that forgives.

7:27So is the one that starts again.

7:31Every one of them is trying to look after you in their own clumsy way You are allowed to begin the day

7:47forgiven In a moment, I'll guide you back, And we'll take this softness with us through the day, whatever

8:05comes.

8:06Ready to meet ready to meet the voice of blame with also the voice of forgiveness.

8:12And a smile and go, So "I'm human.

8:16It's what we do."

8:26So five, just become aware of the room you're in.

8:30Four, just gently open your eyes.

8:32Three, shake out your arms and maybe shake out your fingers and toes.

8:37Two, just look around slightly.

8:40And just one, just take a deeper breath and just feel a little bit of gratitude for your voices inside.

8:50They're all there to protect you in their own small way.

8:53They don't always get it right Thank you for sitting with me today.

9:00It does mean a lot, and all these meditations are brought to you completely free.

9:06We don't put any adverts in them because of the kindness of the people that donate a coffee.

9:13If you'd like to support my work and find out about Stillness in the Storms, my other podcast that helps

9:19you through difficult times, just head over to stevenwebb.uk.

9:25I'm sure there's a link somewhere on this page.

9:28And thank you.

9:30Namaste.