Inner Peace MeditationsGuided meditations with Steven Webb Join Weekly Calm

Meditation 104 · 6 June 2026 · 10:38

For The One Who Carries Others

For the carer, the parent, the one everyone rings late at night. Eleven minutes where you are not holding anybody.

Subject: Healing & Self-Compassion

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Inner Peace Meditations · Meditation 104

Length10:38
SubjectHealing & Self-Compassion
Best timeWhen you have been holding everyone else
PositionSomewhere you feel properly supported
StyleGuided, three phrases, said for you first. Music underneath

For the carer, the parent, the one everyone rings late at night. Eleven minutes where you are not holding anybody.

About 11 minutes with Steven Webb's calm voice.

There is a difference between loving someone and being the one who holds them every day. The grief, the guilt and the bit of resentment are not failures. They are what turns up when the holding has gone on too long without a break. Three lines, said for you first. May I be held. May I be soft. May I rest.

Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

Who this is for

The carer. The parent. The partner. The friend who answers the phone at eleven at night, again.

There is a difference between loving somebody and being the one who holds them every day. And if you are honest, somewhere in there is grief for the life you are not having, and guilt for the grief, and now and again a bit of resentment.

None of that is a failure. It is what turns up when the holding has gone on a long time without a break.

What happens in this meditation

You let your weight go into whatever is holding you, and we start at the hands. These are the hands that have done the holding. Food, drinks, the phone at the wrong hour, a smaller hand.

Then the chest, where we carry things without noticing.

Then three phrases, and the order is the point. You say them for yourself first. May I be held. May I be soft. May I rest. Then for the person you carry. Then for everyone else doing the same thing tonight.

How to get the most from it

Eleven minutes where you are not holding anybody. That is really what it is for.

Sit or lie somewhere that takes your weight properly, because the body will not put anything down while it is still working to hold you up.

You are not setting the person down forever. Just now. They are safe enough for eleven minutes.

Questions people ask

I feel guilty even taking this time. Is that normal?

Very. It turns up for nearly everybody who does this work. The guilt gets to come along and sit down with you. It does not get a say.

Is it wrong that I sometimes resent the person I care for?

No. It is a sign the holding has gone on too long without a break, not a sign that you love them less. Resentment and love live together all the time in carers.

The weight will still be there afterwards. What is the point?

It will be exactly the same weight. The hand around it may be a little more rested, and over months that is not nothing.

Read along

The transcript

It follows the audio. Press any line to jump there.

self-compassion · compassion · love · stress

Read the transcript

Hi, I'm Steven Webb and welcome to this lovely meditation. For the one who carries.

The carer, the parent, the partner, a friend or the quiet person that everyone leans on.

For these few minutes, we set the weight down, turn kindness back towards ourselves and offer three

simple phrases. May I be held. May I be soft. May I rest.

So let's begin.

When you're ready, just find a position that makes you feel supported and held.

And let your weight rest on whatever is holding you.

Whether it is the chair, the bed, or a cushion on the floor.

And just let your shoulder soften just a little.

We do not need to do anything with the body or the breath. We simply become aware.

And as you become aware of your breath now,

just acknowledge that your body knows how to breathe. Your

body knows how to relax.

And we just invite and allow these things to happen in this moment.

And you may notice the sounds in the room. And do it without needing to name any of them.

Recognise that they come and go.

Same with my voice and the same with the gaps between my words.

And we are here now.

And while you're settling in, just a little bit of understanding what it means to carry. Many

of us are carrying something.

Whether it's ourselves, a parent, a child, a partner who may be just tired, a

friend who rings us late at night or at the wrong times. We

carry because we love and because we care deeply and because it is who we are.

And

that is just a simple truth.

But there is a difference between loving someone and being the one who holds them every day.

And if we're honest, sometimes we may grieve for the life we do not have because we're busy

carrying and holding someone else's.

And with the grief, sometimes guilt comes and or perhaps resentment.

These are not a failure. These are just being human. They arrive when holding has gone on too

long without a break sometimes.

We do not need to pile them on top of the load

They are just other things we are carrying.

And we're going to let them rest too.

And you know, the one who cares for others needs caring for too.

And often the only one near enough is us.

So for these few minutes we turn the kindness around.

The people you love are safe enough. The world will keep turning. We

are setting it down. Not forever. Just now.

Let us sit with this.

Bring your attention into your hands.

Feel them resting somewhere open or loose or curled. Just feel them.

These are the hands that have done so much holding.

They have held food, drinks and the phone late at night and a small hand of someone smaller.

Notice them and let them soften here.

Now bring your attention to your chest, the place where we carry without realising it sometimes.

It might feel tight. It might feel just quiet. Sometimes it may feel a little resentment

and maybe then guilt. But

even that's okay we're not trying to change it we're just noticing.

And just bring back your awareness to your breath. Breathing in calm. Breathing out relaxed.

And together we're going to say three quiet phrases.

And the first one is to ourselves. The one who has been carrying.

So place your hand on your heart if it feels right.

May I be held. May

I be soft. May

I rest.

May I be held. May I be soft. May

I rest.

Now bring your mind to one of the people we carry. It may be the first person that come to

your mind when I said the word carrying.

We're not fixing anything for them.

May you be held. May

you be soft. And

may you rest.

And now gently we widen.

There are so many of us all around the world,

quietly holding someone.

The carer no one sees. The parent up three in the morning. And

the friend who answered the phone again.

For all of us who are carrying in this moment.

May we be held. May we be soft. May

we rest.

And just notice what is here now.

The carrying is real. But maybe for a moment, the hand has softened around it.

When you pick it up again in a little while, it may be the same weight.

But this time you may carry it differently with

a hand that is rested.

Now I'm going to come back from five and

we're just going to return to the room. So five, gently become aware of the room you're in. Four, open

your eyes. Three, just move your arms, wiggle your fingers to just look around.

And one, take a deeper breath.

Thank you for sitting with me today.

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