# Soften the Self-Blame: A Gentle Morning Meditation - Show: [Inner Peace Meditations](https://innerpeacemeditations.com/), guided meditations with Steven Webb - Meditation: 111 - Published: 8 September 2026 - Length: 9:38 (about 10 minutes) - Subject: Healing & Self-Compassion, Morning - Best time: First thing, before the day gets going - Position: Sitting or lying down - Style: Guided, with three wishes to say. Music underneath - Web page: https://innerpeacemeditations.com/episode/soften-the-self-blame-a-gentle-morning-meditation - Listen: [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soften-the-self-blame-a-gentle-morning-meditation/id1559888338?i=1000788514817), [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/show/5n31KPEaotQspMPzDkI1Li), [MP3](https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/f1fb0dc1-0782-481f-a3c8-edce1da6147e.mp3) Woke up replaying something you said or did? A gentle morning meditation for the voice inside that says it was your fault. About 10 minutes with Steven Webb's calm voice and music underneath. We don't argue with the voice. It thinks it is helping, like a guard who shouts to keep you safe. Terrible manners, but a good heart. So we thank it, find where the blame sits in the body, usually the chest or low in the belly, and let that place soften a little on each out breath. Nothing to fix. Then three wishes, said slowly: may I be kind to myself today, may I put down what I cannot change, may I know I am enough, even on the days I get it wrong. You are allowed to begin the day forgiven. I'm human. It's what we do. Treat me to a coffee, keep the podcast free, and get my Weekly Calm every Sunday. It is all on [stevenwebb.uk](https://stevenwebb.uk) Thank you for sitting with me. Steven ## Who this is for You wake up and it is already playing. The thing you said. The message you sent. The moment you snapped, or the thing you forgot. And standing over all of it is a voice that says you knew better. Some people do it last thing at night instead. Same voice, same replay, different end of the day. This meditation is for that voice. It does not argue with it and it does not try to shut it up. It just softens it enough for the day to start a bit more kindly. ## What happens in this meditation There is nothing to do with your body or your breath. You let the body relax, head to toes, and let the mind go a little quieter on its own. Then we look at the voice of blame properly. It thinks it is helping. It believes that if it blames you first and hardest, nobody else can hurt you with it. A guard shouting to keep you safe. Terrible manners, but a good heart. So we say thank you to it, find where the blame sits in the body, usually the chest or low in the belly, and let that place soften on each out breath. We finish with three wishes, said slowly: may I be kind to myself today, may I put down what I cannot change, may I know I am enough, even on the days I get it wrong. Then a count back from five. ## How to get the most from it Under ten minutes, so it fits before you pick up your phone. That is the best time for it. Once the phone is in your hand the replay has company. The voice will come back later in the day. When it does, try the line from the meditation. I hear you. Thank you for trying to keep me safe. Then a smile: I'm human, it's what we do. If mornings are not your problem but bedtime is, it works just as well lying down before sleep. ## Questions people ask ### What if I really did get it wrong? Then you made a mistake. The meditation does not pretend otherwise. What it says is that making a mistake is not the same as being one, and that blame only ever looks backwards. Kindness is the thing that is here with you this morning. ### Is this a religious meditation? No. The Buddha gets one line, that you could search the whole world for somebody who deserves your kindness more than you and not find them. The three wishes are good wishes, not prayers, and you can skip any that do not sit right. ### Can I do this sitting up at my desk? Yes. Nothing in it needs you lying down, and it is short enough for a break. Headphones help if the room is busy. ## Transcript [0:00] Hi, I'm Steven Webb, and welcome to a gentle morning meditation for that voice inside that says, "It was your fault." And if you woke up this morning replaying something you said or did, or you tend to go to bed doing that, this is for you. You don't need to do anything with your body or your breath. Just become aware So allow your body to sit comfortably Finally, You can gently close your eyes And just become aware of your breath. Your body knows how to breathe And also your body knows how to relax the, we just allow We just allow these things to happen And while you're just settling in, I just want to say a few things I'll talk about self-blame. [1:16] I just mean that voice inside that points to you and says that it was your fault, or you should not have done that, or you could have done something better, or with hindsight you could have done it a different way. All these different ways in which we just replay these situations and we think that we could have done it better So as you continue to invite your body to relax Your head and your forehead, your jaw and shoulders arms and fingers and your belly, even your legs and toes And even your eyebrows and every part of your body just allow it to relax in this moment Breathe in calm, breathe out breathe out, and let the moment be what it is Allow your breath to be what it is You may notice your mind has gone a little quieter If you're anything like me, you wake up in the morning and your mind is already busy. [2:52] And not so much with today, but with yesterday. That thing we said, that thing we didn't do, the mind plays it again and again, like it's hoping for some kind of different ending The words that came out wrong, the message, the moment you snapped, the thing you forgot And there's a voice standing over all of it saying, you knew better And the strange part is that the voice thinks it's helping. It believes that if it blames you first and blames you hardest, no one else can hurt you with it. No one else can use it. [3:42] It's like a guard that shouts at you to keep you safe Terrible manners, but it's a good heart So this morning, we just don't fight the voice. We don't correct it. We don't argue. We just allow it to be what it is. Allow that voice to be there Notice it in the same way that we notice the rain on the window And we say quietly, "I hear you. Thank you for trying to keep me safe And now let's just find where the blame sits in the body Most of the time for me, it just lands in the chest or low in the belly And rest your attention there just generally for a moment And each time you breathe out, just allow that place to soften a little Nothing to fix Just softer than it was And the Buddha said something really lovely about this. [5:32] He said you could search the whole world for someone who deserves your kindness more than you And you would not find them nowhere, not one person You made a mistake It may not have even been a mistake, but someone may think you did, and that's repeating in your head And that's not the same as being a mistake. Blame keeps looking backwards. Kindness looks at you and says, kindness is here with you this morning Now we're going to do three affirmations. Just slowly. [6:33] May I be kind to myself today. May I put down what I cannot change. May I know I am enough. Even on the days I get it wrong May I be kind to myself today May I put down what I cannot change May I know I am enough even on the days I get it wrong The voice of blame is one of hundreds inside of you. So is the voice that forgives. [7:27] So is the one that starts again. Every one of them is trying to look after you in their own clumsy way You are allowed to begin the day forgiven In a moment, I'll guide you back, And we'll take this softness with us through the day, whatever comes. Ready to meet ready to meet the voice of blame with also the voice of forgiveness. And a smile and go, So "I'm human. It's what we do." [8:26] So five, just become aware of the room you're in. Four, just gently open your eyes. Three, shake out your arms and maybe shake out your fingers and toes. Two, just look around slightly. And just one, just take a deeper breath and just feel a little bit of gratitude for your voices inside. They're all there to protect you in their own small way. They don't always get it right Thank you for sitting with me today. It does mean a lot, and all these meditations are brought to you completely free. We don't put any adverts in them because of the kindness of the people that donate a coffee. If you'd like to support my work and find out about Stillness in the Storms, my other podcast that helps you through difficult times, just head over to stevenwebb.uk. [9:25] I'm sure there's a link somewhere on this page. And thank you. Namaste. --- Every meditation of Inner Peace Meditations is listed at https://innerpeacemeditations.com/llms.txt. Weekly Calm, one calm email from Steven every Sunday: https://stevenwebb.com/newsletter/